sometimes life changes and you're completely fucked

a liquid weight draws me down.

I carry it in my chest, close to the ground
I lunge in my misery, stare with desire
I dream dreams of winds, carrying me higher-
flight paths of angels circling a spire-
but my breath bubbles dirt,
my dark lover pervert;
my clarity, thread by thread, unwound

and still, a liquid weight draws me down.

I'm humping through sludge, trying to drown
all or nothing, that's who I've always been
gorging on slime black as my sin-
brief thoughts of a clean tide drawing me in-
and I choke on the earth,
my bleak afterbirth,
wearing my claws on my head like a crown

I feel it, a liquid weight draws me down.

Sometimes I pretend you're a wave bearing down
foam circles my thighs, kisses my palms
a caressing lover, a stroking calm-
the thought resonates like a sensuous psalm-
but I'm stuck in the mud,
bathing in blood,
filling my lungs with a gargling sound

a liquid weight draws me down.